Overcoming the Break-Up

My break up was with my fiance was tough.  I was al devastated and it took me a while to get over it.  I went through all the stages..... I was shocked and missed him and then I moved to feeling hurt and not good enough and then I got angry and eventually when I thought about him I just didn't care anymore.  I finally got to the point and realized I am better off without him.  He had held me back in multiple ways.  I was happier without him.  


Once a relationship ends, people tend to re-evaluate themselves, and that is exactly what I did.  I realized I had changed a lot for him, and so now I was kind of lost and trying to re-discover me and my interests.  In relationships, some changing is bound to happen.  I don't mean totally re-inventing yourself, but there will be some little change.  I realized I was one that had changed a lot.


Now change is not necessarily a bad thing.  There are different types of change:  when you decide to change parts of yourself because of the love you have for someone and that person makes you want to better yourself and you want to be something for them then I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  However, when your partner wants to change who you are and everything about you then that is not cool.  A good partner will only encourage change that betters you not change that will benefit them.


Now my change was a mixture of both in the beginning I changed because I wanted to, but towards the end, he tried to change me.  At the end of this relationship, I was different.  I was more caring, more emotional, able to express those emotions, and I was more cautious, broken, and scarred, but I was still me.  I was able to hold on to me, and I feel that I was even able to bring more of me out that I had suppressed for years.  I realized it is okay for me to say what I want, and that it was okay if everyone didn't like me.  


I was able to heal my broken heart and be happy again, and I learned a valuable lesson that sometimes people you love will hurt you, but how you are able to deal with the brokenness and overcome situations reflect how strong of a person you are.   I was able to handle this situation very classy, and I didn't dramatize his infidelity to the world.  I didn't want his family and friends to hate him because the moment he realized what he lost he was going to need them to be there for him.  And he did, he tried to mend things, but I was strong and I was wise, and I very politely declined his offer.  Being a stubborn woman, with an attitude this was a big step for me.  I am so proud of myself for being able to handle the situation as well as I did.


In the end, when you reflect on your life you can only regret the decisions you make because you can not make other people's decisions for them.  Just make sure you can be happy with your life choices.  I don't always make the right choices, but I strive to make the choice that helps people and that will make me happy in the long run.

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Comments (5)

  1. eiai

    Great entry! I agree with pretty much everything you said. Changing to better yourself, even if it’s for the other person, but not changing who you are at your core unless it’s really what you WANT. And that was very humble of you to not dramatize to the world his infidelity. It shows how big your heart is, that even though he crushed yours at the time you still thought about his feelings because you still care about him, you just can’t allow yourself to be mistreated.

    November 02, 2016
    1. jaageet

      I know it happens but why would a person be crushed if the partner is unfaithful? Disappointment definitely, if the other person cheats on you. You move on. Emotional hurt that crushes you is something else. It points to issues in oneself, wouldn’t it?

      November 04, 2016
  2. dramaqueencoley15

    I really think that depends on the relationship and the person. For example, I am a very emotional person and the few people that I do let into my heart I open up completely to them. Those people become part of my family. So yeah, I was crushed that the life I had planned out with the man that I loved and trusted more than anyone was over. Does that mean I dont have my own issues, absoultely not. As I have mentioned in some of my previous posts, I have trust issues and It’s hard for me to let people in my life and when I do and it ends badly it just confirms my initial thoughts. However, I am not going to go through life always thinking the worst of people so I remain cautious, but still try to keep a positive attitude. I admit, I am extremely emotional, and things effect me more than they do other people.

    November 06, 2016
  3. richardfrodriguez

    I think it is very easy to make any relation with anybody no matter if your relation with boys or girls. But the most important and difficult thing is to carry that relation till death. Because according to essay writing service review it needs lot of compromise and patience to forgive other partner for his or her mistakes. Only weak people prefer break up instead of solving problems.

    February 01, 2017
  4. memantar

    Great post and great things you developed here. Thanks a lot!

    April 22, 2017